Power communication

Do you create the impression of power? Do you project dominance, or submission? Find out how to find out.

Setting the scene
Picture this scene: You walk into a room in which a man and a woman are deep in conversation. One of them is seated at a table, eyes downcast and somewhat glazed, shoulders hunched, body drooping towards the table, knees together, hands folded in  lap. You hear a few muted comments from the person who is seated, but nothing that catches your attention. The other person is standing, with one hip resting on the edge of the table, looking down, speaking in a loud voice, shaking a finger at the hunched figure below. As you approach, the one standing leans over and touches the seated figure on the shoulder. The other does not move in response. Without knowing anything else about the conversation, what conclusions can you reach about who is in charge? And in reading about this conversation, who do you assume is the man, and who the woman?

If you concluded that the person standing likely is the person in charge of the conversation, and that that person probably is the male, then you have reached the same conclusions most people likely would reach, given that limited amount of information. What you see in this scene are behaviors characteristic of dominance and submission, and also behavior characteristic of males and females. What you as the observer do is reach conclusions about power and powerlessness, men and women, gender communication.

The conclusions are the same ones that clients, juries, and other attorneys reach about you every time they see you.

Everything counts
Those conclusions are based on seemingly insignificant details of behavior: how you hold your head, the tone of voice you use, your clothing, your facial expressions, your posture, your gestures.

In fact, everything counts. There is nothing you do that does not impact another's impression of you and your power or powerlessness. The trick, then, is to make conscious choices that promote the impression you wish others to gain of you.

You cannot not communicate about yourself to others. You might as well do it purposefully.

Attorneys and power
Attorneys need to create impressions in other people's minds -- clients, juries, other attorneys -- of power, the potential to influence. Clients want to believe that their counsel is an influential person, capable of moving through legal complications with ease. Juries find believable those attorneys who appear to be in charge in the courtroom. Other attorneys respect those who push back. Powerful attorneys sometimes need only rattle their verbal sabers to gain compliance from others.

An attorney effective in communicating works to establish his or her power with others.

Power is central
Power is the essential element of communication, as energy is the central element of physics. One cannot be an effective communicator without power. And those who do not appear powerful oftentimes appear powerless. Very little separates the two behaviorally.

Power stems from a variety of sources -- knowledge, expertise, authority, ability to reward or punish, connections with powerful others. In general, power is transmitted through control -- of space, of topic, of self, of the situation. Power is exhibited through such behaviors as: gestures that create an expanse of space around the speaker, direct eye contact, posture that is erect yet relaxed, a rich, full speaking voice, and appropriate smiling. Behavior that reflects self-confidence is powerful.

Yet power is acted out interpersonally, given by one person to another, or not. A boss can tell an employee what to do only so long as the employee recognizes the boss's right to do so. When that recognition is withdrawn, the employee may start to do shoddy work, circumvent the boss' power, or simply quit the job.

Interpersonally, power translates into the ability to influence the behavior of others. Powerlessness in contrast, reflects a lack of influence.

Power is negotiated between people. It is relational, a part of the relationship between the two.

Details of power
The behaviors of power and powerlessness are extremely influential in shaping people's impressions of us. An attorney may have the best prepared case imaginable and still not convince a jury to agree because his or her method of presenting both self and the case says, "Don't believe me. I'm not too sure of what I'm doing."

Information about powerful and powerless behaviors can be of use to attorneys in presenting themselves to others, and in helping clients and witnesses present themselves effectively in court.

The details of powerful and powerless communication are acted out from head to toe, in every behavioral choice an individual makes. Everything counts --  from the look on one's face to the types of clothing one wears; from one's tone of voice to the length of time one maintains eye contact. Sometimes only a fraction of a second's movement or facial expression separates the two.

The behaviors, though subtle, are extremely important. They can be learned by anyone paying attention, and they are 'read' by all of us all the time, usually outside our awareness.

Use of the head
A powerful person maintains an erect yet relaxed posture with the head placed squarely atop the shoulders. In contrast, a less powerful person tilts the head slightly to one side, which diminishes the impact of any forceful statement. If you doubt the importance of this subtle behavior, try tipping your head sideways the next time you issue an order to someone, and see what response it gets.

A powerful person's face reflects response to what is going on, with neither too much nor too little expressiveness. Too little smiling is seen as indicative of a dour personality and/or nervousness. Too much smiling, such as women frequently use, is seen as placating rather than powerful.

Direct eye contact, without staring or glaring, is perceived as powerful. A person who does not hold eye contact for very long and/or who repeatedly looks down first is seen as non-dominant and not powerful.

Use of the body
The powerful person has a more relaxed posture than the tense, erect bearing of the non-powerful person. A powerful person uses the body to take up space, with arms spread wide, legs apart, gestures creating a large bubble of space around the speaker without being distracting.

In contrast, the powerless person strives to take up as little space as possible. Thus, he or she sits in a compressed posture, knees together, hands in lap, making only a few, tiny gestures.

The more powerful person readily invades others' space, touching and standing close. The less powerful person prefers greater distance yet allows invasions of space and touches. The less powerful person shifts weight from one foot to the other, while the more powerful person stands his or her ground.

Overall, an erect and relaxed posture bolsters the impression of power, as does well-fitting clothing which does not constrain movement.

Speech matters, too
The more powerful person manifests power through speech, as well. The powerful person speaks longer and more often, more readily interrupts others than is interrupted, and makes statements rather than asks questions.

The less powerful person speaks little, permits interruptions, asks questions which invite others to speak, and qualifies what he or she says with disclaimers such as "I'm not too sure about this, but ..."

The more powerful person is addressed by title or last name, while the less powerful person is readily called by first name.

A powerful voice is full and rich. Moderately low voices are heard as more powerful than high-pitched, nasal, or excessively low, guttural voices. Less powerful vocal choices include non-fluencies ("uh"), needless repetition of words and phrases, and rising intonation at the end of declarative sentences, which turns them into questions.

Status and nonverbal power
The behaviors of power are also the behavior of a higher status person. A boss may touch or address a subordinate by first name more readily than vice versa, or may sit more expansively, or may not bother to look at the other when listening.

Gender patterns
The behaviors of dominance are also those characteristic of males; the behaviors of submission are characteristic of females. Not all males exhibit powerful behavior, nor do all females exhibit non-powerful behavior. Yet each sex has a different behavioral menu from which to select, and those who select from the other's menu do so at some risk. It can be done, but it must be done with caution, because those who choose inappropriately are sanctioned.

Example and conclusion
One attorney in a communication skills class responded negatively to the way the "judge" was treating him in a role-playing situation. The videocamera caught his anger as he moved into super-dominant mode, with staring eyes, a loud voice, hands on hips, legs spread far apart, directly facing the "judge" as he was told that his objection was denied. As the attorney viewed the tape, we went through the list of power behaviors and he agreed that he had done almost every one on the list. He also agreed that his approach had not gotten him his goal.. When he redid the role-play, he toned town his power behaviors, listening to what was going on rather than preparing his rebuttal mentally, and ultimately he won his point. He subsequently went before the judge portrayed in the role-play and succeeded where in the past he had failed. He attributed his success to his changed approach.

The composites of the powerful and powerless persons differ considerably, yet attorneys demonstrating each style may have equally cogent arguments to make, each may be equally prepared to present a case, each may have strong credentials. But one is more likely to be heard and listened to and more likely to influence the audience than is the other.

Everything you do telegraphs to others who you are. The choices you make in the details of communication can help you gain power, or they can give it away. The choice is yours. And you make it constantly, every day, in every conversation, on purpose or accidentally.

copyright © 1985. Mary M. Bendelow, PhD All rights reserved. This article is adapted from the original, published in The Pennsylvania Lawyer, April, 26, 1986.